Helping a parent stop scam calls: the one-page cheat sheet
Keep this open on the kitchen table. One parent, one phone, about an hour. Your parent holds the phone and you only tap when they ask you to.
Before the first tap
- Ask which calls rattle them and whether any money or numbers ever left the house. Ask it kindly, because an embarrassed parent hides things.
- If they already gave out a card, bank or Social Security number, do not scold. Phone the bank or card company together, using the number on the back of the card.
- Agree that nothing gets switched on without an explanation of what it does.
Settings by phone type
| Phone | Where to go | What you will see |
|---|---|---|
| iPhone | Settings > Phone > Silence Unknown Callers | Numbers not in Contacts, recent outgoing calls or Siri suggestions skip the ring and land in voicemail and Recents. |
| Android, Google Phone app | Phone > three-dot menu > Settings > Caller ID & spam, then Blocked numbers | Spam filtering on, plus call screening if the phone has it. Menu names shift by maker, so search settings for "spam". |
| Landline | No setting exists | Needs a plug-in blocker or a carrier service. Options are compared in the landline blocker guide. |
| Flip phone | Ask the carrier | Many carriers sell or include call filtering for that line. Some charge, some do not. |
The hour, in order
| Minutes | Job | Done when |
|---|---|---|
| 10 | Silence unknown callers | A call from an unsaved number does not ring and shows up in Recents. |
| 5 | Join the Do Not Call Registry | Registered at donotcall.gov, or by calling 1-888-382-1222 from the phone being registered. |
| 15 | Save the numbers that matter | Doctor, pharmacy, bank line and family are in Contacts under real names. You and one backup relative are favorites. |
| 15 | Pick one rule | Your parent can say it back in their own words. |
| 15 | Write the paper list | Taped inside a cabinet door or beside the landline. |
The rule that works for a fake grandchild, a fake bank, a fake agent and a fake prize: "If anyone says it is urgent, I hang up and call someone I know."
What goes on the paper list
- Family and one backup: names and numbers, large print.
- Bank fraud line: copied from the back of the card, never from a search result or a caller.
- reportfraud.ftc.gov: where to report a scam call or a payment.
- 7726 (SPAM): forward spam texts here and the carrier receives them.
- fcc.gov/consumers: complaints about unwanted or spoofed calls.
- Two lines at the bottom: "I do not have to answer." "I can say I will call back."
Words you will see on the screen
- Scam Likely
- A label T-Mobile adds. It is the carrier's estimate, not a verdict.
- Spam Risk
- The Verizon Call Filter label, same idea. Treat it as a hint.
- Potential Spam
- What Android and the Google Phone app show for a suspicious number. Also an estimate.
- No Caller ID
- The number was hidden or not passed along with the call.
- Unknown Caller
- The number never arrived or could not be identified.
- STIR/SHAKEN
- The signing standard carriers must use under the 2019 TRACED Act. A signed call can still be a scam, so a clean screen proves nothing.
Star codes, honestly
- *67 hides your own number for one call. It does not work on 800 numbers or 911, and it does nothing about incoming calls.
- *69 returns the last incoming call. It depends on the carrier and is often unsupported on mobiles. Do not ring back unknown numbers anyway.
- *57 traces a call on some landline and VoIP services. It is not available everywhere, may cost a fee, and the result goes to law enforcement, not to you.
When a call still gets through
| What happened | Do this |
|---|---|
| A caller pressures them | Hang up with no explanation. Strangers are owed no politeness. Then call you. |
| The doctor's office went to voicemail | Listen to voicemail once or twice a day, save the number, and ring back on the number from the clinic's paperwork. |
| A card, bank or Social Security number was given out | Call the bank or card company on the number printed on the card. Report at reportfraud.ftc.gov. Read what to say to fake agency calls. |
| Money or gift cards were sent | Same day, call whoever moved the money. Steps are in the first-hour guide. |
Put a reminder in your own calendar for a month out and ask what came in. A rule your parent adjusted is a rule that stays on.
Red flags and where to go next
- A demand to act today, or a request to keep it secret.
- Gift cards, wire transfers or cryptocurrency as payment.
- A code that arrived by text and must be read aloud.
- Being told not to hang up.
The registry has existed since 2003. It quiets legitimate telemarketers and does nothing to scammers, political calls, charities or surveys. If a stranger still calls to sell something to a registered number, that tells you something about the caller.
Calls that claim to be a grandchild: grandparent scam checklist and family safe word. A parent who keeps forgetting the plan: scam calls and memory loss. Working on a phone that is not yours: caregiver setup matrix. An unfamiliar area code on the screen: number checker, which shows region and time zone but never the caller.